Paper Cranes for Japan

In February, 1st Grade began a unit on Japan. The kids have had a great opportunity to learn how to write their names in Japanese and many more things. The thing that most intrigued James was origami. It quickly became an obsession. We bought him a book and origami paper, we showed him videos on the computer. He decided he wanted make a crane but there were some challenging folds that neither I or John could figure out. We encouraged James to make something easier and that perhaps we should practice all the various folds first. Over those next few weeks James would periodically return to the crane and try to figure out the folds. Then the earthquake and subsequent tsunami hit Japan. In the days following an organization, DoSomething.org created a page on Facebook asking for 100,000 pictures of cranes to be posted to their walls. These cranes would represent 100 wishes to Japan. Over the weekend this effort was recognized by another organization called studentsrebuild.org.


From the Studentsrebuild.org website: 

In response, Students Rebuild partnered with DoSomething.org, to ensure students worldwide have a way to support their Japanese peers.

Help Japan by making paper cranes. These simple yet powerful gestures will trigger a $200,000 donation from the Bezos Family Foundation - $2 for each crane received - to Architecture for Humanity's reconstruction efforts in Japan. Once we reach our goal of 100,000 submissions, the cranes will be woven into an art installation - a symbolic gift from students around the globe to Japanese youth.

After John and I saw this and a heartwarming video about the tale about 1000 cranes for 1 wish we decided it was time that we helped James figure out how to make those cranes. Once he got back from school I told him we figure it out. We found some videos on YouTube and then James figured it out. He made his first crane. That evening he taught John how to build cranes too. He was off and folding, getting better each time. I took some pictures and posted them to the Paper Cranes for Japan Facebook page.

When we heard about StudentRebuild.org's efforts we decided we would participate. He decided that he wanted to build as many cranes as he could for Japan. On the first day of Spring Break he spent almost the entire day making cranes. He folded 24 cranes that day. Over the remainder of spring break he built an additional 18. James was able to send Students Rebuild 42 cranes to help the rebuilding efforts in Japan.

I am so proud of James!

Under the Sea - James Turned Six in 2010

Time flies... I can't believe James is almost seven. Guess I better share last year's birthday.  After much deliberation we settled the theme of

 Under the Sea

We started with lunch -- Octopus and squid hot dogs with cheesy shells.  After lunch kids could make an octopus mobile. Then we had an undersea shipwreck treasure hunt complete with a treasure map. The kids put on ocean creature swim goggles and went "diving" under the sea; down into the basement where we played various games to get the next clue until the treasure was found.  The activities were animal charades, octopus tag, crab races and ocean animal trivia. At the end they found the treasure chest full of party goodies, including small stuffed sea animals.


We had a full under the sea decorations. We had beach blankets to eat lunch, we had blue and green crepe paper, large paper sea animals, a crepe paper jelly fish along with a fishing net. And then the cake -- an amazing under the sea cake complete with fish and rocks. 

 As always Papa was with us to celebrate James Birthday.

We were thrilled to have special guests -- Nana & Grandad -- to celebrate James 6th Birthday.

Sometimes parenting styles trump friendship

This is not a typical post but it still fits with the theme of parenthood and the challenges it brings. It is about balancing a friendship that started long before children were in the picture and how a difference in parenting style can change it.

To be clear --  I am anti-spanking. Corporal punishment of any kind is inexcusable and there is never an acceptable reason why an adult should hit a child.  Honestly, there is no reason an anyone should hit another human being or animal for that matter.  Unfortunately, this is not a universally held belief although most of my dearest friends feel the same way; except one.   My one friend and I have had conversations about spanking in the past and we agreed to disagree and not discuss it. Until recently this has worked out -- for the most part.

Several years ago  I was with my dear friend and we were meeting a new book club member. I am not sure how this topic arose by the new member made a very bold statement " I am not friends with anyone who spanks their child". My friend immediately responded, seemingly with pride, that they do spank in her family. I felt this was an odd choice, since this was the beginning of a new potential friendship that has now been stopped before it can start. I also resonated deeply with this mom's statement. The problem is that my dearest friend does spank and believes in whole heartedly.  How do I reconcile my strongly held belief with our friendship.

Over the years I have had an internal conflict about my friend and her choice to hit (spanking is hitting no matter how you define it) her children and the fact I remained friends with her and her family. It makes me so incredibly sad to know a child is being hit, swatted or worse. There are so many studies and new ways to discipline I just know there can be another way that will ultimately be more effective and less damaging. I tended to compartmentalize my friendship and if I didn't think about it I could pretend it didn't really exist.  Although then I would become aware of incidents - off-handed comments about a teenager needing to be slapped because she wasn't behaving the way she should, threats of using a belt because a child was upset at a change in plans (I felt totally guilty about this since I had forgotten to come over and sent my husband as I was ill) and didn't want to go to bed or the use of a shoe because a child isn't listening. Each time these events would occur I would be so angry and confused. I changed my habits to some extent in that I did not rely on her to help me with my own childcare issues; I didn't want my son around this behavior. This came from not only my own issues but my son't feedback about being there. Still we remained friends. I think I was hoping that my smart, intelligent, loving friend would change and realize that there was a better way. So many of her parenting choices don't jive with the choice to spank. However, I've come to realize that I can't change her mind. She essentially shuts down when anyone tells her how to do anything, unless she is specifically asking for help on a specific issue.  If she is ever to change her mind, it will be on her own time and decision.

The last incident, while it was not something she did but she did condone it and blame the need on her son, sent me over the edge. I realized that by not standing up for what I believed I was essentially condoning this discipline tactic and I just could not longer do that. I have to stand up for what I believe in and the children it affects. It was also causing an underlying negativity in our friendship, at least for me. I was angry with her and her husband. I just cannot understand the choice to hit as a way to discipline. I don't see how hitting resolves a situation. I have done tons of research to see if I could understand but there seems to be very little scientific reasoning behind this. Most of what I could find was based in religious beliefs and this idea that "we grew up with it and survived" and there for it's OK.

Finally, the "I can't be friends with people who spank" sentiment and my friend who spanks came to a head. I am still very conflicted and wish there was someway to remain friends. I wish there was some other issue that we disagreed on that wasn't so core to my being. I admit that I avoid conflict and did this via email; perhaps if I had told her in person we would have more closure but I didn't. I sent an email to which she did not respond. I left the door open to discussion to see if there was a way to go forward. I guess I believe there is always a new path a friendship can go, even if it's not the current path. There is a way for friendship to change that can accommodate changes. Maybe I just hoped she would respond even in some manner, out of respect of our 10 years friendship, to tell me that I hurt her and that it's over. I don't know something. I wrote a follow-up email and again nothing. I think what hurts me the most (after the fact she refuses to consider a different solution) is that she did not have enough respect for me or our friendship to respond in some way. I am not sure why I hoped for something else. This her M.O. she just walks away and doesn't deal with it. Maybe eventually she will and I hope that she does but I am sad it ended.

I loved our friendship. I love her family and while I know she doesn't see it this way I wanted what I believe would be best for her family -- I do realize this isn't my call. It is what it is and I need to let it go but I have a hard time just walking away. It took me over 3 years to really take a stand for what I believe is right.  I know I did what is right but it still hurts all the same.

The impact YFU and my YFU exchange had on my life.

My YFU story is less about my exchange but rather what happened later. However, without my summer exchange to France my YFU story would not possible. Twenty-two years ago on the 23rd, I stepped off a plane in Paris, France exhausted after traveling across the US and the Atlantic Ocean with a plane full of exuberant  fellow YFU students. I too was excited but that first day I was also frustrated because I didn’t understand a word of French, after two years of study. In fact, I could not even communicate with a four-year old. I wondered what had I gotten myself into.  I hoped that the next day would be better after I got some much-needed sleep. Little did I know at age seventeen that this would become core to who I am and what I do in my life. 

I spent eight amazing weeks in France with my host family who was a seasoned YFU family – I was their seventh exchange student and all three of their daughters had been YFU students to the US; the youngest to return in a couple of weeks. My host family was wonderful! I experienced a lot in eight short weeks – living in a village of 50, managing to purchase stamps on my own, exploring Paris with my host sister who lived there, camping in the Loire Valley and living on an island for five weeks. I slept in a tent at the beach and explored the island on a bicycle. It was my idea of an amazing summer – a perfect match. My host family stretched my taste buds; they encouraged me to be less shy and to forget about being perfect when speaking. In the end, I felt as though I belonged, I was a member of my French family (I disliked American tourists) and not only did I begin to actually understand what was being spoken around me but eventually I was able to talk back. I was thrilled to understand 100% of what was said my first day back in French class; my exchange was a success. 

As I said, my YFU story really began six years later when I received a newsletter about volunteering with YFU. I had just graduated from college and needed something to make my life have meaning. YFU was just what I was looking for. I was fortunate enough to be part of a field with amazing volunteer managers who embraced me at age 23 as a volunteer and gave me meaningful tasks. It was here that I began to see the whole picture of YFU and the impact a student has on a family and that it is not just about the student experience. I also began my lifelong passion for working with our American students to prepare them for this life-changing journey and connecting with them upon return to see how they have changed. I have been fortunate through Facebook to reconnect with many of the YFU alumni and volunteers I have worked with over the past 16 years. When I look at my friends on Facebook, I see students, from many years ago, that I interviewed and orientated. I see students who thought orientation was a waste of time and then returned to volunteer the next year because they saw the value, I see alumni who volunteered as interviewers and orientation facilitators, I see people I met randomly and engaged them as volunteer.  I see alumni I chaperoned an international student trip with, I see alumni I worked with to create orientations and re-entry reunion events. I see amazing alumni who I worked so hard with to bring meaningful alumni involvement to YFU. I see co-workers, I even see a student whom I hosted for two weeks and I see one of my host sisters. I see volunteers and staff who encouraged me to find my voice, leadership and my passion. I see true friends. 


YFU is an integral part of who I am and how I view and navigate the world. Without  YFU I would not be who I am today.  I thank YFU for the opportunity, my host family who made it possible and the volunteers who welcomed a young alumna into their volunteer regimes and gave me something meaningful to do. I know that I make a difference in this world. 


I invite you to make a  change not only in the world but  in your own life. Become a volunteer or host family with Youth For Understanding  You won't regret it.
www.yfu-usa.org. You too can make a difference.

RIP Taj - The Best Cat Ever

Originally posted on Facebook.


Tonight we had to put our cat, of 11 years, to sleep. In over the course of 36 hours his Taj's health deteriorated rapidly; He was having trouble breathing, he wasn't eating or drinking. A physical exam showed that his kidneys were small, his heart rate was elevated and other internal organs were enlarged. It also appeared he had lost a lot of weight recently. While we could have chosen to have him undergo several expensive tests regardless of what the ultimate determination was it would be terminal and it was only a matter of time. I have always promised myself that I would want Taj to die peacefully and without pain. We chose to bring him home with us today to spend a last few hours together -- to say goodbye and to wrap our heads around this loss.

He was truly a huge part of our family and a very unique and special cat. He was very social; so much so that we believe he picked us at the Humane Society. He'd run to the doorbell when it rang, to say hello and welcome visitors. He loved to be around people -- he even tried to tolerate little kids -- although eventually if they didn't respect him he'd be sure the tell them when enough is enough -- there have been a few scratches over the years but only to those who did not treat him properly.

He was always playful and looked to play -- even until just recently. It was hard to remember at times that he was no longer a kitten.. even though he believed he was. We also believe he thought he was a dog and often behaved as one. He would attempt to go on walks with us. He would often try to convince John or I that he hadn't already had lunch or snacks -- when indeed he had. He'd demand to be let in or out the front and back doors, even though he had his very own special cat door.

He always slept with us.. usually trying to get as close to our heads as possible. IF you wouldn't let him, he'd find someplace else and wait until you were sleeping to creep ever so slowly up to where he wanted to be. I never could understand how such a small animal could take up so much of our bed. I will miss that tonight!! When he was on the recliner and you walked past he'd reach out touch you. When he wasn't sleeping on you but close, he' reach out a paw. He just wanted to touch you.

Over the years he brought us many birds (many yelled at him too to go away), mice (that he would lose in our basement.. ugh) and even baby bunnies. He talked to us all the time and often sounded liked James and said "mom" He had a favorite blanket that if you got out with in moments he'd come running to sit in your lap and purr. He loved yogurt and no matter where he was in the house he'd be sitting waiting patiently at your feet to finish so he could lick the container.

There are just not enough words but Taj was an amazing cat, that I already miss so much. I am glad we had this afternoon and evening to spend with him and say goodbye.

What an unexpected loss on this rainy evening.

R.I. P. Taj. You have been able to go peacefully and pain free. You are in a happier place and forever in our hearts. We love you.

My last day - favorite grey blanket

So many birds, too many bells

hangin' out while mommy works

They painted this cool new room for me!

Wow, it's mid-April.. how did that happen????

Gosh, it's been forever and so much to post. I will try to catch up soon, I have so much on my mind -- what will I do differently in my 39th year -- that I kicked off with a Roaring Twenties Murder Mystery Party, what kind of parent am I and how does that affect my friendships, my involvement with PTA and now my son will be 6 with full party planning underway for "Under the Sea". I promise to post and write more soon.

Snow Day!!!

As I watched the snow begin last night I began to wonder -- so how much snow does it take for Boulder Valley School District to close the schools, preschool rarely closed. This morning I woke up around 6 and turned on the TV and logged on to the computer to see if there was any announcement. At first it indicated only the mountain schools would be closed but then after a refresh all BVSD schools were closed for the day. Hmm, John and I wondered what would we do with James because neither of us have the luxury of a snow day. It's been snowing ferociously all day and it's not supposed to stop until tomorrow night.  This how our day was spent (well I was working and taking pictures).

Sleeping in, snowballs, shoveling, sledding, helping the poor Globe Willow and art......